Trials... Confusion... part 1

Have you ever been going through something that it makes it hard to see what other people are going through? 

I had this problem.

This is a three series post so bare with me… I am about to bare my sole.

In April of 2010 Clayton and I decided we were going to add to our family. We were ready to start trying to have a baby. Well for a long time that did not go very well. It was really hard on because as everyone knows all I have ever wanted in this life is to be a mom and I would have done it at 19 if I had just had a husband. Now I had one and was getting worried I had waited too long. I was 26 when we started trying.

Trial: I was 27 when my best friend, decided she was ready too of course it took her what seemed like to me one second from the decision to start to actual conception. 

Confusion: This was really hard for me. I was not sure why I was having so much trouble and how it is just so easy for someone else. I was excited for her and at the same time devastated and miserable.

I really had to think, and decide what I wanted in this moment. I could either me sad that she was pregnant and I was not. I could act how I wanted and how I felt and just stop talking to her, or I could get over myself because she was my best friend and I did not want to miss out on this wonderful blessing. What would that do to our friendship and was I willing to risk something great because I was hurt.

I chose to get over myself because I loved her so much and really wanted to be there. I did not want to miss out on this great experience she was having I wanted to stay her best friend. After I made the decision it was easy to be there for her. There were days where I was still wondering why I didn't have that yet but, now I truly was happy for her. 

Since last time

Let me catch up up...

Clayton and I both have new jobs.

Clayton works for a great company called Tera-flex, where he works in the machine shop and makes parts for Jeeps mostly off-roading jeeps.

I substitute teach for the canyon school district and I nanny for two cute families both with twins. One two year old twins a boy and a girl. And the other with infant twins both boys.

We are living in my parents basement apartment, and have been for about a year.

Lucky us we are going on a cruise in November to the Caribbean. We get to go to Honduras, Belize Cozumel and the Grand Caymans. Wahoo...

Apartment? Or No Apartment?

Clayton and I are apartment shopping. Well we found these great apartments and we absolutely love it. We are just hoping we can get into one. They are two bedroom and 1000 sq feet. They are so awesome.

Or we could stay in the basement at my parents for free that is what we arw paying now.

What should I do? Any advice? Save money and stay here or break free and pay rent to strangers?

Random thoughts

Clayton is working the grave yard shift tonight that stinks really bad. I had the worst migraine all day today until now. How does that work? I could not even function all day and now of course it is time for bed and Bam its miraculously gone. What the ghetto... ha I have not said that in about ten years.

Fishing...

I have decided just today that I really like it when Clayton goes fishing, and it has nothing to do with getting rid of him. You see he has a number of hobbies snowboarding, rock climbing and he'd love to be a biker but all of these things are very expensive hobbies. Fishing however is a once a year fee of $26, that pretty much it since he already has all the gear he could ever dream of and because it is Fly fishing and he catches and releases I do not have to deal with the smelly fish at any point in time. Clayton is fishing right now and I am happy to pay for his license and to have the house to myself for just a little bit. Much longer though and I start to miss him.

An update on Name?

I did it, well mostly did it. I changed my name on the legal things like my social and drivers license and at the bank but everything else all my credit cards are still under my maiden. i guess we will see how long this process really takes if you don't make a huge effort to accomplish it.

Work

So I am sure by now you have all found out about my job at Buttons and Bows preschool. I started a new path in January that has lead to some great things. I started at this preschool as a Teachers Aid, which was basically helping the lead teacher with responsibilities. Then just after 2 months I was given the opportunity to Lead tech one day a week for the whole month of March. During this time I was offered a full time lead position at the sister school in Holladay that started in June. I am happy to say I love it. not every part of it but I love it. I just found out as well that while I am currently teaching the 2's, I will now be moved up to the 3's a transition I am looking forward too. 2's are the best but they only get easier as they grow and the curiculum gets more chalenging for me as well as for them. I can not wait to see what other fun things come my way at this fun place.