Four months

Dexter!!!

Dexter turned four months old on Saturday. He can lift his head at a 90 degree angle. He can coo like crazy. He is reaching for toys, and hold them. He rolls over, and he always rolls to the right, but he loves to play on his tummy. I think his favorite thing right now besides watching TV is talking to his dad, it is so amazing to see him growing and changing so much.

He likes to sleep on his tummy. He still cries every time I lay him down no matter what. But eventually he falls asleep. He is not sleeping through the night mostly he waked two times between 2 and 5 am. On occasion he waked before that. On the other hand he sleeps until 9 or 10 and even if he wakes up early he is ready for a nap shortly after. 

He started rice cereal last week and he was ready he had no trouble at all with solids as in swallowing and stuff.the first time we tried it, it was really watery and that didn't work so great. He really wants to crawl but he can't sit up yet so I think it's a little ways away.

He still absolutely loves o be outside. No matter how upset he is when you step outside he stops crying.

At his appointment he was 25 in long, and he weighed 12.1 lbs. He was in the 5% in weight and the 37% in height and 50% in head size, so he's really smart.

I love my little guy and I am so happy to have his cute face in my life. He is amazing!

Baby Dexter

I am only four months behind but here it goes... 

Side note I am scheduled for an induction on May 30th at 4:00 am.

The day is May 29th, I am nine months pregnant. 6:00 am. I wake up to go potty. I feel weird like their is a baby down there but further down then normal! Weird! So I hang out and I feel some cramping, so I call the doctor on call. He says wait it and and if you loose water come in.  So I time my cramping because after waiting this long I don't believe they could be contractions. They were every three minutes. I watched tv and timed it for an hour and decided it was time!!!

I go down stairs it's now 7:00 am. I'm thinking I've got all the time in the world and the pain isn't bad at all so I go brush me teethe get dressed. I go into the bedroom and a hard contraction hits so I lean against the bed. That wakes Clayton up he says "what's going on?" because I woke him up awhile 10 minutes earlier then he wakes for work at 7:15. So I ever so casually tell him that I think we need to go to the hospital. Well that wakes him up he thinks I'm joking at first then he starts freaking out and he asks me what to wear. I said anything and he was like trying to put on church clothes and then he said doesn't it have to be sanitary. It was so funny. 

We got in the car and drove to the hospital. My contractions got worse as we drove. We went to through the hospital to check in and they took us back and I was dilated to a five already so it really was time. They asked if unwanted an epidural which I did but I wanted to think about it and wait to see if I really needed one. Then the nurse gave me some advice and I decided to get one. So they took me to a labor and delivery room. got me all set up and the anesthesiologist came in did he's thing Clayton liked that part. He sat close and asked the doctor a million questions. I was glad I did it when I did because it was easy to sit still before the contractions got to bad and it was a wonderful labor without any pain at all. We were waiting for the doctor to come and break my water when it just did it on its own naturally that was about 10 am. After that we all just hung out and chatted until it got real. Then we planned on starting to push around 2:00 pm but I was dilated enough yet do we pushed it back which was good because the doctor took a break and didn't make it back until 2:30. So around then 2:45 I started pushing. Dexter arrived at 4:16 pm. It was wonderful. Clayton was very tired. 

He was so cute and he was so angry. He was 7.9 lb, 21 inches long. What a cutie. They handed him to me and I noticed right away that he had a very cute dimple.

My parents were there and his Dad was their for his lunch break and his mother and sister all hung out with us the whole day. It was a beautiful day!

Confusion... Devastation... Part 3

Stop Don't Start Here 

 you must read Part 1 and Part 2 before you read here.

My sister-in-law was going in for her routine appointment. What should have been her 14th week, but because she lives out of town was actually the 15th week. I knew everything had to be okay because I knew God had set it up this way so we could experience this together. I knew with all my heart this was our time to bond in this way.

Then we got a phone call from my Dad "We are still at the hospital I don’t know what is taking so long but I’ll call you back as soon as I do." I ran down stairs and started to pray, everything has to be okay God wouldn’t do this to her not again and not while I was pregnant it would be too much, he couldn’t do this, he couldn’t make it this hard. I was so scared I just cried and cried. Until we got another call from my Dad “We are going to an imaging center they can’t find a heartbeat”. I lost it I locked myself in my room waiting to hear. I kept telling myself there is no way God would do this to us again. There is no way we could lose this baby not now and not like this.

Devastation: Apparently God can and would do that to us (I say us as a whole family unit, because that is who it affected). My sister-in-law found out that day she had lost her second baby. This time it was the week of Thanksgiving, great timing right, well I don’t if you can say it was better than the last time she found out but at least it wasn’t her birthday again. There is never a good time for news like that but to make both times memorable date like a birthday and thanksgiving and both in the same year, you may not recover. I don’t think anyone can blame you either.

The hardest thing in the world is to be so excited for something you wanted so bad your whole life, while having a broken heart, knowing that someone else has a broken heart, knowing your whole family has a broken heart. Feeling terrible for your best friend, feeling no one, because of our aching hearts can share with you with full joy, knowing every time she sees you she’ll break and every time you see her you just wish it would have been different, wish you could fix it somehow.

 How can I not be happy, I am having my first baby, I am pregnant, I am in the place I have always wanted to be my whole life. On the other hand how can I be happy now?
 

This was hard for everyone to experience but it was very hard for me to watch our friendship change because of it. We are gaining it back and it has been smoother than I expected but I wish it hadn’t happened this way at all and I hope through all of it we can stay strong and keep what we have as friends and grow as sisters. I hope that even though it is so hard she will love my baby and me after all is said and done, in a way she would have without this trail.

I know that God didn't do this to us. I know there was a reason for this trial. We have already found the reason now we just get to keep on going. It is still hard and I think it will always be hard but I know that things happen and I know that through our faith we can keep going.

Blessings... Part 2

Clayton and I started to see someone about our fertility in June we waited for his new insurance to kick in so I could go to the Doctor that I wanted. We went through some tests and more tests. We found out the problem which is an entirely separate post I will post one day. And my wonderful Doctor did it by September of 2011 we were finally pregnant.

This was great news I couldn't keep from anyone but I tried really hard and was pretty successful for as long as possible. I waited a whole 8 hours to tell Clayton I thought that was amazing. I had not planned on telling anyone until our first appointment which was Nov 7. That didn't work out so well I decided I couldn't handle that and I came up with a cute way to tell our families at least they needed to know. They were all very excited.

Then I told my dear best friend and she was crazy excited more than anyone else. She and I were on our way to the temple and she was screaming that was awesome.

A few weeks later more great news. My other most-dearest friend in my life my sister-in-law decided to let us know she was also pregnant this was even better than just being pregnant, even better then sharing it with my other friend. It was now a triple pregnancy and I was so excited. This was going to be wonderful us pregnant together and she was only two weeks ahead of me. Our babies would be best friends and cousins. The only thing I wanted more then to be a mom was to go through this wonderful experience with her as sisters.

It was so fun we would joke about smells during Real games that no one else could smell and we were so happy. I was so happy to have my two closest friend’s right there with me blissfully pregnant.

Trials... Confusion... part 1

Have you ever been going through something that it makes it hard to see what other people are going through? 

I had this problem.

This is a three series post so bare with me… I am about to bare my sole.

In April of 2010 Clayton and I decided we were going to add to our family. We were ready to start trying to have a baby. Well for a long time that did not go very well. It was really hard on because as everyone knows all I have ever wanted in this life is to be a mom and I would have done it at 19 if I had just had a husband. Now I had one and was getting worried I had waited too long. I was 26 when we started trying.

Trial: I was 27 when my best friend, decided she was ready too of course it took her what seemed like to me one second from the decision to start to actual conception. 

Confusion: This was really hard for me. I was not sure why I was having so much trouble and how it is just so easy for someone else. I was excited for her and at the same time devastated and miserable.

I really had to think, and decide what I wanted in this moment. I could either me sad that she was pregnant and I was not. I could act how I wanted and how I felt and just stop talking to her, or I could get over myself because she was my best friend and I did not want to miss out on this wonderful blessing. What would that do to our friendship and was I willing to risk something great because I was hurt.

I chose to get over myself because I loved her so much and really wanted to be there. I did not want to miss out on this great experience she was having I wanted to stay her best friend. After I made the decision it was easy to be there for her. There were days where I was still wondering why I didn't have that yet but, now I truly was happy for her.