Friday, May 11, 2012

Trials... Confusion... part 1

Have you ever been going through something that it makes it hard to see what other people are going through? 

I had this problem.

This is a three series post so bare with me… I am about to bare my sole.

In April of 2010 Clayton and I decided we were going to add to our family. We were ready to start trying to have a baby. Well for a long time that did not go very well. It was really hard on because as everyone knows all I have ever wanted in this life is to be a mom and I would have done it at 19 if I had just had a husband. Now I had one and was getting worried I had waited too long. I was 26 when we started trying.

Trial: I was 27 when my best friend, decided she was ready too of course it took her what seemed like to me one second from the decision to start to actual conception. 

Confusion: This was really hard for me. I was not sure why I was having so much trouble and how it is just so easy for someone else. I was excited for her and at the same time devastated and miserable.

I really had to think, and decide what I wanted in this moment. I could either me sad that she was pregnant and I was not. I could act how I wanted and how I felt and just stop talking to her, or I could get over myself because she was my best friend and I did not want to miss out on this wonderful blessing. What would that do to our friendship and was I willing to risk something great because I was hurt.

I chose to get over myself because I loved her so much and really wanted to be there. I did not want to miss out on this great experience she was having I wanted to stay her best friend. After I made the decision it was easy to be there for her. There were days where I was still wondering why I didn't have that yet but, now I truly was happy for her. 

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